Am I Selfish for Wanting More?
So you love him, we get it.
In the society we are living in today, is it even taboo to talk about love! We are all so caught up with work, growth, and internet gurus that talking about love gets more uncomfortable. Still, we do. We love, and that is how it’s supposed to be. Do you feel that too?
Congratulations, if you are a woman with so much heart and soul, to acknowledge that about yourself!
But love isn’t enough; that’s what you figured out, correct? I figured that because if you are still reading this, it is because you asked yourself about that title. And if you are doing that, it is because it resonates with you.
So you have doubts. Not about loving your man, of course; that part is clear. But the “being selfish part.”
The answer is: no, you are not.
Let’s start with the obvious: women are complex by nature. We have to be. Think about how women can bring another human being into the world…an inherently complex process!
Women’s needs are complex as well. Fusion Polyamory lays out in detail how there are two mating patterns for us females. The first has to do with finding a reliable partner to establish a base of emotional, practical, and social stability. That home base is often the foundation for bringing children into the world, establishing a career, or engaging in a creative and rewarding endeavor. Not that a partner is needed to achieve those things, but a relationship needs to be compatible and supportive of your goals and dreams.
The second mating pattern of females has to do with the desire to seek out and mate with novel and superior male genes. That impulse has been part of our evolutionary development from the beginning of our human roots.
The conflict comes from attempting to combine both of those urges into one relationship and it kind of feels like ramming a square peg into a round hole doesn’t it? We try because we’ve been told that is how it works.
It doesn’t have to be that way and in honesty, it can’t anymore.
Marriages are failing at a rate of over 50% and 75% of divorces are initiated by women. Relationships are being entered into with the best of intentions but something about how we conduct those monogamous relationships doesn’t work for the long term.
Something needs to change.
Fusion Polyamory shows us a new blueprint for relationships. The schematic may look completely foreign to you at first, but dive in further; you will begin to see how the inherent structures in all of us allow for a new kind of female-led relationship that serves both women and men.
Relationships require work and commitment and, above anything else, honesty. Be honest with yourself and with your partner. That is the best policy.
