The fear of losing the man we love the most can keep us from exploring our sexuality and giving voice to that wild part of us that just can’t be with just one person.
But what if I told you that once you “come out,” you will be even closer to him?
Before we get there, let’s get a few things straight: First of all, we all know by now that sex is not intimate. Sex can involve intimacy, but that’s about it.
Personally, I love this description: An intimate relationship is an interpersonal relationship that involves emotional or physical closeness between people and may include sexual intimacy and feelings of romance or love. Intimate relationships are interdependent, and the members of the relationship influence each other.
Intimacy goes much deeper than the exchange of bodily fluids (yes, I know. Sorry to be so crude).
Intimacy is much scarier than that, because when you sleep with someone, you are just listening to your body’s needs, but intimacy is an act of undressing the soul, and that is a whole different story. It’s vulnerable, it makes us feel unsafe.
Now, let’s look at this very horrible thing I just told you in a different light: you get to share true intimacy with your chosen one.
Once you open up to him, which will be the hardest part for you for a number of reasons, you have the unique opportunity to build a Bonnie and Clyde kind of relationship with your husband/boyfriend/partner. Partners in crime!
You will conspire against societal rules and live a relationship that is true and fulfilling for both of you, sharing secrets like schoolgirls and growing old together without ever having to lie.
Take your authentic self: a polyamorous woman from the waist down, and use it as an opportunity to have a truly honest relationship.
If that’s not bliss, I don’t know what is.
Now, if you are insecure and unsure about how to make this happen, pick up our book Fusion Polyamory and understand this concept in depth. If you still have questions after that, I will be more than happy to help!
Get out there and be your wild self. I will be rooting for you.
