Why do we kiss?
For most of us, the fact that kissing feels great is a good enough reason to do it. There’s much more to a kiss than meets the eye, and some people dedicate their lives to studying anatomy, chemistry, and the evolution of human smooching. They’re called philematologists.
The origins of kissing
So far, there’s no agreement among these scientists of kissing on the origins of human kissing. Some say it is a learned behavior. In early human societies, mothers might have fed their toothless children by passing on premasticated food from mouth to mouth. Besides, it seems like not all humans kiss, at least not romantically. Research has found that around 10% of people don’t even know how to make out, as it’s not part of their culture.
Other scientists believe that smooching is an instinctive behavior. Most mammals rub noses to display affection, but some, like bonobos, are full in with their kissing. They use it as a way to reconcile, comfort each other, strengthen their bonds, and sometimes just because they feel like it.
The science behind the ‘feel-good’ effect of kissing
Theories about the origins of the passionate lip-lock don’t fully explain WHY we kiss. The most widely accepted reason is that humans can sniff out a good mate during a romantic kiss. When we’re so close to each other, we can smell our partner’s pheromones and, by swapping spit, we can even exchange hormones and proteins that could influence our decision to mate or pass. It’s our biology taking over there!
Apart from that, we simply kiss because it feels great. Full stop. Human lips and tongues have more nerve endings than any other part of the body, which make us feel all giddy and excited when we smooch.
Kissing also causes a chemical reaction in our brain. Oxytocin, dopamine, and serotonin get released in humongous amounts. Oxytocin is often referred to as the ‘love hormone’ because it promotes bonding and attachment. In a 2013 study, it has been proved that oxytocin enhances a reward mechanism in men’s brains that helps them stay monogamous and develop a deep affection for their chosen long-term partner. Dopamine is usually released when we do something that feels good – like swapping spit with someone we’re really attracted to. Serotonin, the ‘happiness hormone’, makes us feel euphoric every time we get lost in an intense lip-lock session. Cortisol levels also reduce, making us experience a great sense of relaxation and wellbeing.
It seems that kissing a lot and often is also the secret sauce to make a long-term relationship more satisfactory.
The (actual) reason why we kiss
Now, let’s get real for a second. Kissing feels good; there are tons of biological and evolutionary reasons why we do it, but…didn’t we forget to mention the erotic power of a wet kiss?
It’s no secret that some kisses are meant to make us feel aroused and prepare us for sex. Research among college students shows that women use kissing as a way to assess a potential mate. Thanks to their enhanced sense of smell and taste, women can subconsciously evaluate their partner’s health, a key factor for reproduction. They’re usually more reliant on kissing as a way to determine their partner’s level of commitment. It has been proved that women are more reluctant to kiss if they perceive that their partner is not interested in a long-term relationship. ‘Good kissers’ usually have a higher chance to be chosen for what comes next, too. 😉
According to the same research, both men and women think that a good lip-lock session is a great way to get aroused and start a sexual encounter. Some men even consider tongue kissing as having sex!
Open mouth and tongue contact is particularly effective in making us feel hot. For many men, a deep wet kiss creates a sort of parallelism between saliva and vaginal lubrication, increasing their sexual arousal as a consequence. Now, if you’re a cis-woman in a relationship of any kind with a cis-man, you know that moaning loudly and swapping a lot of salivae will instantly turn him on – guaranteed!
Want to enhance your kissing? Use the ‘red effect’!
Make-up can make kissing a more pleasurable and sensual experience. Many lipsticks are formulated to keep your lips soft and voluptuous for a greater smooching experience. Lipstick is also a powerful visual cue, especially if it comes in a red shade. Men seem to be completely hypnotized by it, according to some studies.
Besides, looking good makes you also feel confident, and that’s an explosive ingredient to add to the already powerful chemical and sensual cocktail of a kiss!
Fusion Movement wants to encourage all women to explore their sexuality and feel confident in their skin. Understanding how sex and arousal work from a biological and anthropological perspective can help women unlock their full potential and use their overflowing erotic power to finally get full control of their sex life.
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