What makes women not use sexual accessories:
Many women don’t know how to communicate to their partner their need and desire to use an erotic accessory without making him feel uncomfortable or insufficient.
Introducing sexual accessories into the relationship can be a very fun and stimulating experience for the couple. It is beneficial for everyone because it is something different and can bring more satisfaction, pleasure, intimacy, and excitement.
So, how to pave the way to communicate your desire confidently with your partner? I’ll give you the answer to that question in a moment.
Sexual accessories: talk about them with your partner
Talk to him in advance to know whether or not he likes what you are proposing. Talk about your curiosity and suggest trying something new. With dialogue and the right way, we can achieve anything.
Absence of orgasm:
Studies have shown that many factors contribute to the absence of orgasm among couples, such as:
- Relationship status
- Mental health
- Insecurity with the body
- Relationship routine
- Sexual health
However, one of the most contributing factors is that about 80% of women do not feel orgasm only with penetration and need clitoral stimulation, simultaneously or not, to get there.
Be specific when communicating.
Always be specific when communicating your needs. Draw if you have to! Don’t leave it up in the air thinking that your partner will guess or play hints because he won’t understand (accept it, it hurts less, etc.).
Tell him what sex accessories you want to use, how, when, where, and where you want to start.
Do you want to use the erotic toy on yourself? Do you want to use it on him? Communicate, and of course, show the advantages of using each little toy.
The more information you give and the more confidence you are, the more comfortable you will feel with the idea of starting to use sex accessories and explore new things.
Types of partners and how to talk to each of them:
If your partner is the type who lives inside his imagination:
Super creative and has amazing ideas; use the world of fiction to talk to him. Ask him to imagine what it would be like if you used sexual accessories. The more creative you are, the more he will imagine it, and the more likely he will be into it.
Sentimental, communicative type:
Tell him that he will experience different situations and sensations using sexual accessories. Say that he will explore a new world of experiences and feelings.
The negotiator type:
The one who likes to lead and control and who needs to know what he will get in return before doing something clarifies what he will gain by using the sex toy and that he can be in control if you both decide so.
The planning type:
He likes security, is more attentive to details, describing what will happen when they use the sex accessories, how it will be, show, and make him feel safe.
He is the most competitive and perfectionist:
Tell him how perfect it will be to use the sexual accessories together, that it will be amazing, and that you can improve the experience even more next time.
Sexual accessories: a perfect experience for the couple
When you start introducing sexual accessories, it’s important that you both feel comfortable, consent, and make your own decisions.
A great way to do this is by going to the sex shop together, choosing the erotic toy you both like or are curious to try, or even shopping together on the internet.
In addition to being a program to do together, this will already stimulate the couple’s curiosity, desire, and imagination. Humm, then it is all joy!
Sexual accessories: try it out for yourself.
If the erotic toy is new, it’s best to use it alone first to learn how it works with your body and what you feel and where you feel pleasure most intensely. Trying it out first will make it much easier when it comes time to communicate with your partner; because you will already be able to speak from experience.
Once you’ve enjoyed and seen that it works in the areas where you feel more pleased with the erotic toy, it’s time to talk and show him exactly what and how you want it, where you like it, and in what way you like it.
It can be verbally, or it can even be a complete demonstration, using the erotic toy in front of him, depending on the level of freedom and intimacy of the couple, and this, only you can say.
But the important thing is to show him how much you enjoy using it with your body, or even ask him how he would like to use it on you.
It can be surprising what he will tell you, which will generate more and more intimacy.
Besides, just seeing your partner enjoy himself with the erotic toy can be extremely exciting to know that you are in control of the situation.
What to do if he doesn’t agree?
Remember that you can’t force him to do something he doesn’t want to do.
The consent of both of you is always essential in any sex-related matter. It is extremely important to talk about each other’s limits and to know how to listen to what each one is willing or not willing to do or try. And above all, to respect these decisions.
It is common to hear that partners don’t want to use sexual accessories because they feel afraid that erotic toys will replace them or that it is too intimate.
Solution: Make him feel safe, talk about the benefits of sex accessories, how they help increase pleasure and satisfaction, that it is something new and different, and that it will make sex get out of the routine.
And always remind him that the erotic toy will never replace it because nothing replaces human touch and warmth, the energy exchanged, the connection.
And if he doesn’t like it, respect and thank him for talking about his limits.
The good news is: that you can use your sexual accessory by yourself.