Once upon a time, women were wild and free. They honored their bodies, celebrated their sexuality and the immense power that came with it.
Then something happened. Men realized that women’s sexual power could threaten their conquer and control model of existence. So they began to teach women to suppress the sensual Goddess living inside them. They told women that that power was dangerous and evil. They taught them that only by burying the erotic and the sexual, the world would love and respect them.
It’s through this suppression that women have learned to distrust their own bodies, instincts, and desires.
Fast forward to many injustices, violence, and fights for freedom, and here we are today, in a world that still teaches women that they can only achieve greatness by denying their sexuality. Yet this idea couldn’t be more false.
By dismissing your sensual Goddess, you’re surrendering your true power and the very resource that could change your life for the better. Your sexuality is a wild, potent, transforming energy – when you reconnect with it and bring it into all aspects of your life, everything is possible. You become in tune with your body, gain confidence, and finally, feel completely free. That’s what sexual empowerment looks like.
What does it mean to be Sexually Empowered?
A sexually empowered woman flows with her sexual energy, isn’t restricted by judgments and taboos, and feels safe surrendering herself to her desires.
Sex educator Amy Jo Goddard describes a sexually empowered woman as “someone that communicates needs, wants, and desires without blame or shame; someone that feels at home with their self and body, feels fully and sexually expressed, and, when they are non in their full expression, they know how to get there.” She even created a 9-step guide to sexual empowerment to help women reconnect with their sexual energy and bring it into their lives.
Like any form of empowerment, sexual empowerment starts from within. It cannot be bought or achieved overnight. It’s a lifelong journey and a process that has to go through many obstacles, including cultural and religious traditions, media misinformation, and self-limiting beliefs.
The signs you’re a Sexually Empowered Woman.
Now that you know a bit more about sexual empowerment, let’s dig deeper and find which signs can reveal you’re a sexually empowered woman.
1- You feel at home in your body.
You know your body, how it works, what feels good and what doesn’t. You love your body as it is. Groom it and decorate it the way you like, regardless of what others may think. Hairy armpit or total wax; curated make-up or casual look – it’s YOUR choice!
2- You own your sexuality.
You celebrate and enjoy your sexuality, whether you’re in a relationship or not. You honor your libido and acknowledge that it can change over time. You know that your sexual satisfaction depends entirely on you, and you indulge in sexual exploration and self-care regularly.
3- You honor your period (if you have it!).
If you have periods, you don’t feel ashamed about them anymore. You’re not squeamish about your menstrual blood and can look at it, touch it and talk about it with ease. You accept your amazing body as it is, so you don’t feel the need to hide your periods or apologize for them.
4- You know what you want and communicate it clearly.
You know what turns you on, what you like and dislike. And you talk about your sexual needs and desires without shame or guilt. You take responsibility for your own sexual satisfaction and find partners who delight and respect you fully. You’re comfortable telling your sexual partners what you want and expect to receive pleasure as much as you enjoy giving it. You feel free to initiate, follow, and experiment with sex and desire without crossing anyone else’s boundaries.
5- You set healthy boundaries.
You come first, in and out of the bedroom. You talk openly about your health status, protection, and potential pregnancy. You keep yourself safe and even carry condoms with you. You say ‘no’, and you mean it! You refuse to stay in a relationship that violates, intimidates, or diminishes you and are not afraid to walk away if need be.
6- You know your true desires.
You’re in touch with the deepest desires and know that they may come from the dark side of yourself. You’re not scared of this and validate your feelings, emotions, and desires regardless.
7- You celebrate your unique sexual identity.
You’re aware that sexuality is a spectrum and that each person has their own way to feel and express it. You respect that and feel safe and free to be who you really are, with your own gender identity, sexual orientation, and sexuality.
8- You accept rejection.
You know that ‘no’ means ‘no’ and don’t take it personally. You process rejection with good grace and elegance. You’re not for everybody, and that’s the beauty of it.
9- You embrace pleasure.
Sex is not about orgasm. It’s about joy, pleasure, connection. You are curious about sex and the sensations (physical and emotional) it provokes to you. You know that pleasure is not necessarily linked to sexual stimulations and can be experienced with a partner or solo. So, you take time to explore your body, soul, and desires to learn more about yourself and how your pleasure works.
10- You trust yourself.
You assess your culture’s messages about sexuality with a critical spirit. You know that female sexuality is often misunderstood, misinterpreted, and misrepresented in the media and society. You may have been told that sex is dirty and wrong, but you know better. You trust your intuition and address limiting beliefs and toxic ideas head-on.
There’s not only one way to be sexually empowered, and the same idea may mean different things to different people. But one thing remains true: sexual empowerment begins within. It’s not easy, and it’s not a smooth path. It’s a way of being that flows, changes and grows with time and experience.